How does someone decide if a family member should be welcome, permitted, or allowed to be in their life?
And why is it different for a family member?
Anyone else that treated me like this would be tossed aside, no questions asked, gone. And that is completely acceptable... But family? For some reason they get a pass on being abusive.
The Facts:
Right now I am defending myself against the state, because she lied. She attacked me, pulled on my clothing and my hair, held me down on the ground, threatened me, and then called the cops... And even though she knows what happened, and she could stand aside while I clear my name, she has decided to be a "witness" for the state - submitting false material and lies about me.
My siblings are defending me, but it's still terrible... How can this woman justify her actions? Not only did she lose it, physically assault me and lie to the cops, but now she has done everything on her power to keep me from clearing my name. She has tried to sabotage payment for my legal defense, is standing against me with the prosecutor, and talking to family members about her "account of the events".
I am just amazed...
Floored.
Hurt.
Tired.
Angry.
And I've learned about myself... the things I was allowing myself to believe about myself, about life, about relationships. Everything she lead me to believe. And as painful as this is, I can't help feeling grateful that the terrible traits and the misconceptions won't be passed on to MY family... This can no longer go unnoticed.
And I am growing through it, changing my understanding of the world around me and the world within me.
But how is this decision made?
Now that I know she is toxic, am I willing to be around it again?
Is my heart too kind, or too broken down, that I keep thinking sometime in our future that I might let her back in?
Our relationship will NEVER be the same, but I can't quite decide how "over" is this being over.
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